


That which links me to you

by Haya_dono



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Memories, Rejection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-29
Updated: 2019-09-29
Packaged: 2020-10-30 06:35:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20810153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Haya_dono/pseuds/Haya_dono
Summary: For Dimileth week, day 6 Memories.Fighting an uphill battle, where they are doomed to die if they follow a suicidal man's delusion, she tries to reason with him. His smile appears like a long lost dream, the memory of it so different from what he is now.Set after Chapter 18 of Azure Moon. Contains spoilers.





	That which links me to you

**Author's Note:**

> Again, this isn't beta-read, I apologize for any mistake. This has a possible deviation from the story, assuming that Dimitri traveled around Fodlan and he would sometimes go back to Garreg Mach during the 5 years of the time skip.

The valley of torment, a place fitting its name. Byleth gazed at the horizon, the valley long past them, but the terror it inflicted on her remained. It wasn’t the eternal flames or the scorching heat which sucked the life out of every soldier. No, it was the horrible realization that they were walking at the edge of a cliff, and they would fall knowing who brought them to their demise.

It wouldn’t be Cornelia and the traitorous lords who swore fealty to the Dukedom.

It wouldn’t be the Empire or Edelgard, even if she had started this war that had affected the land for five years now.

It would be him, the one person she would have never imagined, the young man with that golden smile and eyes full of pain and darkness. The young man who used to greet her with such earnest kind words and support. The young man everyone on their army would gladly die for.

Dimitri.

She let out a long sigh, she couldn’t hear any voice of comfort or encouragement. She needed something to tell her that not everything was lost, even if she had seen with her own eyes how Dimitri wouldn’t relent on his quest for revenge, not even when Rodrigue had tried to reason with him.

She had put her hopes on Rodrigue, that maybe Dimitri would listen to the man he considered his second father.

But she was wrong.

Any hope at dissuading him after they could join forces with Rodrigue was crushed into pieces, Areadbhar handed to him instead. The look in his eyes told it all, he had found another source of strength to continue his madness, no matter the cost.

Aillel was truly the valley of torment.

Even so, she couldn’t sit still, she couldn’t let him get away with this mistake when so much was at stake. Not even Dedue’s almost miraculous survival had made him realize the folly of this plan.

With heavy steps and an aching heart, she rushed after him, though it wasn’t as if he would move from that cursed spot he had taken a liking for the past months. There must have been something about the cathedral that had gotten him to spend his time there, at day and even at night.

And there he was, of course, with his back at her. She missed his smile and his bright blue eyes. They seemed like an ephemeral dream at this point, long gone from his face.

“There's something I need to speak with you,” she said, maybe this time it would be different.

Silence was his reply.

He could have plunged his lance in her heart, it would be less painful than the ache she felt. Was he truly gone?

She clenched her fists, she couldn’t stop. Someone had to do something, anything.

“We should go to Fhirdiad,” she countered to his silence, voice steeled to hide her feelings and her anguish. Would he care that she was hurt?

For the first time he had been at that cathedral, he turned to look at her. But she found no remnants of that warm smile, only an icy murderous gaze.

“If you have the time to waste it here, then you should be thinking of our movements to _Enbarr_. I've already told you, you were entrusted with the church. Finding Rhea is your mission and going to Enbarr is the most logical action. Do _not_ make me repeat myself. “

His words were like the edge of a sword, taunting to utter another word, if she dared to challenge him.

But someone had to act like the adult in that place. What no one else could accomplish, she had to do it, somehow.

“Gilbert, Dedue, even Rodrigue... No one can oppose you even if they know your decision is wrong. Someone has to tell you things how they are. Even if I...” Her voice trailed for a second, but she chided herself. She couldn’t let herself be held back. It was because she loved him that she couldn’t let him go on like this. “No, nevermind. No matter our feelings, you should know that chasing Edelgard at our weakest will get us all killed.”

His reply was once more silence, but the hatred in his gaze increased, a quiet warning that he wouldn’t hesitate to do anything to her.

“Are you willing to throw away your allies, your _friends_, for a really off chance to get at Edelgard?”

“And what do you want me to do then?” He spat, venom in every word he spoke. “To give up on my revenge?! Are you going to steal that from me?”

She shook her head softly, forcing herself to hold his gaze, no matter how painful it was. “I have no right to tell you to not avenge your family, not when you helped me avenge my father but... Going to Fhirdiad is just a thing we need to do before fighting Edelgard. Strengthening our army is a must if you want to reach her. If we go on like this, we will lose, perhaps even before fighting her.”

The truth no one would dare to state openly. A bitter truth everyone was afraid of, the ending they were all heading towards.

A pointless death in the name for revenge.

“If you don't want to die, then don't tag along.”

“I will not let you endanger us or you!”

“If you get in my way, I will strike you down.”

And for the first time she feared as she saw the flicker in his eye, the hint of cold madness. Her eyes began to water, but she couldn’t let herself be affected. Even if he had cut through her soul...

There was no time for tears.

“I know you won't.”

“I have killed many people you should have seen it when you arrived here. You have been in our fights, and yet, you still doubt I will kill you.”

She clung to that faint hope, the memory of Dimitri deep in her heart forcing her to stand her ground.

“You won't.”

“The Dimitri you once knew is dead.” His voice resounded in the cathedral, fatal words reverberating in her chest as her heart shrank. The lowest of blows. But even so, she wouldn’t relent. Because there was one tiny thing she clung to, thinking it could be proof that he was lying.

“If that is the case, why is it that our cats are still alive, well fed too? Baal just greeted me the other day. He was playing with Gaap. Zepar is here too. I could go on.”

He pretended to have not heard her, but they were both aware of what she was talking about. The cats in the monastery Byleth had taken care of long before the war began. Dimitri himself had helped her many times as he studied, even if he had said he preferred dogs.

"They are cats. Even if they could have survived after the war started here, they wouldn't have survived five years. Someone must have taken care of them and there's only one I know."

“…You speak nonsense.”

He turned away, refusing to look at her now, eyes up to the open sky as her words failed to reach him.

Still, Byleth would never stop trying, even if it hurt so much to see him like that.

“Thank you for taking care of the cats,” her voice cracked. How ironic that this was the one time she wished her emotions were still hidden from everyone, even her.

She brushed quickly her hand against her eyes, as she turned to leave the cathedral, steeling her steps. She hoped for him to call her out, to ask her to stop as she reached the gate.

But he didn’t.

* * *

The chill of the air, remnant of the winter in Faerghus hit her face, as they gazed at the starry sky. The sounds of the celebration could be faintly heard, though they were up in the castle, wanting a private moment to talk. It was something they had postponed doing, but now that things looked brighter, Byleth thought she could finally let go of that burden she had been secretly carrying.

“I think this isn't the best time to say this, when we're celebrating your victory and the liberation of Fhirdiad but... I guess I have a confession to make,” Byleth began and gave him a nervous smile. Dimitri noticed the tone in her voice, but he waited for her to collect herself. “I lied.”

“What did you lie about, Professor?” He looked surprised, maybe even confused, as he had probably expected a much serious sin to be revealed, though the lie Byleth had been keeping was enough to cause her a heavy heart.

“Back then... I... I wanted you to stop trying to get revenge. I know it's hypocritical of me, since I avenged my father with your help but... I was terrified that if you killed Edelgard…I would lose you forever. You were already drowning deeply in your hatred... To the point of killing any who got in your way.”

Dimitri couldn’t hide that bitter frown, nor his surprise at her reveal, though there was a faint softness in his eye, maybe he had suspected it all along, that she was lying, but for different reasons.

“When we defeated Kronya and Solon, I...I lost someone as well. I guess it's hard to understand. I told you I heard the goddess. But, for some time I had been able to see someone no one else could. She couldn't remember who she was, but she would offer me company. And before I knew it, she was my friend.”

He listened, holding himself from interrupting her. Perhaps he was thinking about that conversation, from the look in his face. Something he had taken as perhaps a miracle, but now seemed to have a deeper meaning. Byleth was holding the Sword of the Creator, and her crest was the Crest of Flames, after all.

“She would constantly nag me about rushing things, not thinking clearly, and she was right. I got stuck in that dimension, with seemingly no way out. It was then that Sothis…” She took a breath, for once Dimitri could see a mix of regret and resignation in her smile, something he would have never imagined witnessing. “She sacrificed herself so we, so I could get out.”

She looked at the sky, then turned to him. “Because I charged blindly, I lost someone important to me. And I didn’t want that happening to you for making that same mistake… But I’m glad you’re here.”

Dimitri stayed silent for some moments, thinking carefully his words. The truth had been so sudden, yet things seemed to make sense, like that time she had gone to the Red Canyon. “I apologize Professor, for not noticing your loss, and for not giving your words proper thought.”

She shook her head, offering him a soft smile. “It wasn’t something everyone knew. In fact, I was glad you kept on treating me the same. I’m aware that the events happening were hard to digest. And you already had a lot on your mind.”

Dimitri grimaced, averting his eye for a moment. “I also wanted to apologize again, Professor. Because I was so blind to anything except my quest to avenge the dead, I caused everyone great pain, including you.”

She took his hand in between hers. “You are already making amends, Dimitri. And I know some which were saved by you, even if you were at your darkest hour.”

“Professor?”

“Will you finally acknowledge it? That it was you who took care of the cats at the Monastery for years?”

He stayed silent, a mix of regret, guilt, and reluctance in his face, not letting go of her. “I…I am not worthy of your gratitude.”

“Why not? You took care of them all these years, the cats ran to meet you when we got back to the Monastery.”

He looked at the horizon, the recently freed Fhirdiad lit up by hundreds of lanterns, a mirror of the starry sky above them. “When I escaped, the first thing I did was to look for you at the monastery. But no one had found you, and I knew you were gone. In my search, I found the cats you loved so much. I couldn’t let them be hurt…They were the only thing from you I had left. If I lost them, I’d have lost you once more, Professor.”

She brought his hand to her cheek, closing her eyes. She could see once more the young Dimitri, running with the freshly cooked fish for the cats, smiling at them as they gathered around Byleth. Perhaps, they could go back to doing that one thing, once they reached the Monastery again.

“Thank you, Dimitri.”

“Could we stay like this for a while longer, Professor?”

“For as long as you wish.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading.  
I liked thinking that Byleth would feed every cat and dog in the monastery, and this was imagined before the paid cat/dog petting DLC was announced. Also, she named the cats after the Ars Goetia demons because of course she would.


End file.
